Lost And Found. New Beginnings.
“People change. Feelings fade. Lovers drift. And now we are just strangers with some memories.”
Everyone who says hello will one day say goodbye, sometimes without warning. It is hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. And soon enough, one no longer thinks about that person every single day. At first, that soon enough seemed a lifetime away. And then that lifetime turned into yesterday, yesteryear even.
It is sad to know a person you were once so close to become a stranger you no longer know. My loss turned me into what I call an ‘edgelander’ along the way. I was stuck between one world that felt very familiar and the next — what was going to be the next chapter in my life, walking a thin line between lost and found.
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Lost
Watergate Bay is my ‘memory place’. It is where my life changed one glorious and sunny September afternoon. I found myself walking where the sand meets the sea, alone. We came here together — but we went separate ways. One walked along the golden stretch of beach, the other walked up the cliff path. That moment triggered a change in what was about to come.
The smells of the ocean are a potent memory but my senses did not see the logic that September day back in 2014. These photographs became my memory of a life about to change; they became a moment in time and a slither of my life. For the next few years, this image formed part of my unconscious being. I never had the strength to return, to relive my memories — until one day, one September afternoon three years on to the very day.
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Facing The Inner Demon
Invisible and changeable, the wind at Watergate Bay gave me the strength to face my inner demons. I took the path up the cliffs, I kept walking and walking with tears in my eyes until I reached the very top of the cliffs. I sat and watched the waves crash along the shoreline — and I discovered a new sense of freedom, I found new energy and a new sense of being. I could breathe again. I felt my senses awaken and I embraced a new life. I no longer felt lost without you.
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// 3
Lost And Found
Magically, my life turned into a new direction during my visit to a place that I previously thought I lost to my past life. I always loved Watergate Bay.
To me, this place is all about a free-spirit lifestyle amongst the elements. In this place, I feel like all the right elements come together in one place to create a sense of inner peace and wellbeing. I still indulge myself in the ‘scent of Watergate Bay’ (as I call it...) - a blend of buoyant citrus and serene, green and woody notes which is branded as land&water and is sold bottled to take home.
I spent several hours enjoying my coffee(s) in the Living Space, a light-filled lounge with a relaxed coastal flair. I adore the immense sea views and gorgeous sun downers over the bay, watching the surfers kiss the sea. I felt my life regain its balance.
The following morning and feeling full of new energy I took a long walk along the coastal path towards the Bedruthan Steps. My walk started in the mist and found its way to a steep staircase down the cliffs to the beach. I conquered my fears and took one step at the time down the steps, baby steps... The beach offered a new perspective and I felt freed from my worries of everyday life. I lost my shoes, I turned off my inner monologue. I kept walking and tuned into being here and now. It felt like I gained a feeling of consciousness without any distractions. I could breathe the sea, and feel the sand between my toes. To me, there is no other sound than the ocean. I felt how my senses cleansed and became pure again.
After a long hike, I thoroughly enjoyed my soul food at the Beach Hut with its Cornish cool and super laid-back vibe — I walked right off the beach trail to the window seating with a stunning view across the bay.
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// 4
New Beginnings
I left my footprints in the sand feeling relaxed and rejuvenated, and at peace. Serendipity. That very day I met someone very special.
Beginning a new life can be exhausting after experiencing emotional trauma. I spent years looking for closure. Sometimes we just don’t find it. I realised I had to find that place that makes my heart feel warm again.
My way of coping was to revisit the place that changed my life. I realised then that life was about finding happiness, to do something that you’re passionate about and plug up the courage to just do it; believe me, you are stronger than you think. Take one step at the time but keep on stepping.
Learning how to move on took me several years, here are some things that helped me to move on to a new life:
Give yourself however much time and space is necessary to get to a place of acceptance;
Bottling up emotions is not conducive to moving on; your emotions are real and valid, talk about them with someone you trust;
Don’t play the blame game; it only keeps you focused on negative emotions;
Do something to boost your self-esteem, find yourself again;
Dream again; follow your dreams, you deserve to be happy;
Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to focus on you before beginning a new relationship.
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// 5
Moving On
Someone walked into my life and made me see how life can be whole again. I now live with my new partner in a beach barn. I practice my passion for coastal interiors - designing new spaces and experiences. Every year I return to Watergate Bay, always in the September. Here’s to making new memories and finding new beginnings.
“You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma.”